On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
