He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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