how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
