How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
