how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
