He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
