I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize