Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
time to smoke my breakfast
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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