I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Your dad touched me again.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
