Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
