Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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