new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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