JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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