Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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