K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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