Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
