At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
