Betty ford says i'm here all night
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
