Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
