I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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