So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So much rum. So many feels.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
