Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
