I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
