I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
