Can Purell be used as lube?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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