I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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