I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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