dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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