Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
