Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
