no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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