Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
