I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
