I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
