Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
