Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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