im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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