elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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