so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
