I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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