God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
