I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just tell him i said nine months
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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