; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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