I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
