So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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