Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
