I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
