So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
