is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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