please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
