haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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