Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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