i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Blood and glitter go together right?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
