she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
