It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
