Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
