whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
