Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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