I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
